After months of covering Trump’s tweets and pointing out the stupidity of each individual 140 character or less failure as a president and human being, the time has come to just stop. There truly is just no need to try to figure what he’s saying, what he’s lying about, why he feels the need to look so ridiculous all the time. It’s become so commonplace that most people have stopped bothering to read them.
That’s because let’s face it — there is no rhyme nor reason. Everything the giant Oompa Loompa does is to make himself feel big and powerful or to try to deflect attention from the scandal of the day. So, rather than posting each of the Tweets and saying a few words about them, let’s try something different:
Donald Trump tweeted a bunch of really dumb sh*t this morning. It had nothing to do with anything. Rumors have surfaced that he tweets such nonsense because it helps with his erectile dysfunction. Today’s big failure he’s trying to cover for is the annual White House egg roll, which is happening the day after Easter because Trump was too busy making the American taxpayer fund yet another weekend getaway to his exclusive club to play golf.
The egg roll, which is traditionally set up by the First Lady, got off to a horrible Start when the First Lady decided not to do…anything. Now, through a series of Tweets that having nothing to do with eggs, rolls or anything else, The Butternut Bigot has ensured that there’s plenty of outrage to go around at whoever he tweeted at for whatever reason while they find a few cute kids to make the event look like the biggest, bestest thing ever to happen in the universe ever.
In other news, Syrian planes are still taking off on the runway with $60 million worth of scratch marks from the wrong type of missiles being lobbed at them, Putin is still pulling all the strings in Syria and the ones that count in Washington, Trump’s staff are all sitting on a wall at the FBI with targets on their heads and 62 million assholes still won’t admit they were wrong.
But…the fake media is fake. Pay no attention.
What else can we do at this point but point and laugh? Trump is a circus clown. A big orange dufus of a jester here for our amusement. Sure, he sits in the Oval Office and has his finger on the big red button. Sure, he has the ability to destroy relationships with foreign powers with a single phone call. The good news is, with every passing day fewer people take him seriously. Every decision is worse than the last. Every news cycle brings his approval rating down…unless you read the Drudge Report.
As long as we remain vigilant and continue to scream what an idiot he is from the rooftops and keep his base of fools from expanding to people with an IQ over 72, Donald Trump will be a short-lived, albeit embarrassing mark on American history.
This has been your Monday morning rant about nothing. Enjoy your coffee.