When Donald Trump’s tiny orange thumbs start dancing across his phone screen at 3 am the Twitter world erupts. In 140 characters or less, Trump consistently delivers comedy gold, tweet by tweet. Now, the majority of Americans want to see that never ending well of entertainment come to an end.
In a recent poll by Fox News, 59 percent of respondents said they wanted Trump to delete his account after he is inaugurated. Apparently, they think he should be more presidential or something.
But we at GOPocalypse wholeheartedly disagree.
Here are five reasons why Trump should NEVER delete his Twitter account:
5. It’s simply fun to watch a grown man cry.
Nothing brings out Trump’s whiny, tantrum-throwing inner child quite like Twitter can. In fact, Trump is so whiny Super Deluxe turned his tweets into an early-2000 Emo song.
Before the presidential election, we saw Trump whine constantly about the important stuff like Twilight stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattison’s breakup.
Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again–just watch. He can do much better!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 17, 2012
After Friday’s Twilight release, I hope Robert Pattinson will not be seen in public with Kristen–she will cheat on him again!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 13, 2012
It’s like Trump has a teenage girl trapped inside him.
4. It’s funny to throw his old tweets back in his face when he’s being a hypocrite.
Trump hates the protests against him, but in 2012 he urged his Twitter followers to march on the White House in light of President Obama’s second election victory. His Twitter account is littered with his Jekyll and Hyde moments. We need these tweets to exist forever as evidence that we are dealing with two Trumps.
The electoral college is a disaster for a democracy.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 7, 2012
And here is what Trump thought of the electoral college when he wrongly believed Mitt Romney had won the popular vote:
Too. Freaking. Perfect. When Trump wrongly thought Romney had won the popular vote. pic.twitter.com/e9tJO7mhcB
— Brendan Reichs (@BrendanReichs) November 10, 2016
Now that Trump won by electoral college majority, but lost by around 2 million popular election votes, he’s singing a completely different tune:
The Electoral College is actually genius in that it brings all states, including the smaller ones, into play. Campaigning is much different!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 15, 2016
You could fill an ocean with Trump’s flip-flopping tweets.
3. Think of how fun it’ll be to throw his critical tweets of President Obama back in his face when he’s president and fucking everything up.
President Obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the United States!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) August 2, 2016
Refugees from Syria are now pouring into our great country. Who knows who they are – some could be ISIS. Is our president insane?
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 17, 2015
President Obama looks and sounds so ridiculous making his speech in Cuba, especially in the shadows of Brussels. He is being treated badly!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 22, 2016
President Obama said “ISIL continues to shrink” in an interview just hours before the horrible attack in Paris. He is just so bad! CHANGE.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 14, 2015
.#IranDeal will go down as one of the dumbest & most dangerous misjudgments ever entered into in history of our country—incompetent leader!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 28, 2015
Being a critic is easy. Doing the job is another story. If Trump gets just a small fraction of the crap he gave Obama, Trump will be up all hours of the night crying about how mean everyone is, just wait.
2. We’ll miss out on Trump’s depth of insight into things that matter.
Why is Rosie O’Donnell the worst? From where is Megyn Kelly bleeding? Which reporter should we hate today? Who is the smartest, most brilliant man on Earth? We won’t know the answers to these questions if Trump deletes his personal account!
Fidel Castro is dead!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 26, 2016
I will be the best by far in fighting terror. I’m the only one that was right from the beginning, & now Lyin’ Ted & others are copying me.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 23, 2016
If the morons who killed all of those people at Charlie Hebdo would have just waited, the magazine would have folded – no money, no success!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 14, 2015
1. Who would the internet troll?
Trump basically trolls himself by putting his thin skin, temper, and ignorance on display almost daily, but it’s especially hilarious when the internet fights back.
— LatinasPwnTrump (@techygenius) November 5, 2016
— Taylor Steele (@TweeterSteele) September 11, 2015
— Nasty ElektraKutie ⚛ (@ShoxMagic) November 16, 2016
Hearing rumors that the guy who goes “Let’s get ready to ruuuuumble” is being considered for Secretary of Defense.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 18, 2016
Wanna feel old? America was a cool place less than TWO WEEKS ago!!!
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) November 18, 2016
1/ Hey @realDonaldTrump: Your condemning of the neo-Nazis saluting you would carry WAY more weight if you did it WITHOUT being asked.
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) November 22, 2016
Don’t get us wrong, we think Donald Trump is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened to our country, but we believe Trump should have a platform to fully showcase his megalomania, his narcissism, his stupidity, his inability to spell basic words and all his biases and hatreds towards people in this country. With every tweet sent, every white supremacist retweeted, he embarrasses his supporters more, even if they don’t know it. He needs this kind of rope to hang himself with. We’ll need it for the next election.
So we say: Donald, don’t ever delete your account! Just keep being you.